Wellness: Jackass friends (and your health)

Today I am talking about my jackass friend and how having such a friend made me healthier! You can listen to the video or read the post below!  Hey! Let me know what you think about this post or about that 'jackass friend' of yours by commenting below! And if you like what I'm dishin' be certain to click the like button and pass this post on to a friend, maybe the jackass one?! Just a thought!


Do you have a friend that is a complete jackass? Or maybe jackass is a strong word.  Let us just say that we probably all have that one friend that is just a bit too real.  The one that just gives it to you straight, no chaser.  Yep, well I quite feel that most of my friends are like this. However, there is one in particular whose “straight talk,” pretty much changed the trajectory of my health and in fact made me healthier...and if it wasn’t for him, I probably would not have taken a much need look at myself and what was really going on. And what was really going on was that I was thirty pounds overweight.

The story goes like this. My friend Sylvester and I would sometimes watch the Sunday football games together.  It was nice to have someone who actually liked football because many of my other friends had no idea what 1st and 10 meant and I would end up explaining the football game instead of watching it and being that my boyfriend is a professional football player, this was a bit problematic, as I was really wanting to analyze his performance so I could “coach him up!” (I am sure he is rolling his eyes as that!) Anyway, as I said, this was problematic, so I would hang out with Sylvester and a couple of his football watching friends on Sundays to watch football.  

Well, one Sunday evening he decided he was going to have a watch party at his house as opposed to going out to a sports bar.  Well, there I was sitting on the couch chatting and what not, when an old friend walked through the door.  I just sat there looking dumbfounded, because he did not speak to me.  When he finally walked over to where I was I looked and said, a bit snarky, “hello.”  He looked surprised and said, “Oh! Hey C I didn’t recognize you!” My response was “really?” And as soon as I said that, IT happened.  In that moment I was quite embarrassed, upset, and mad all at the same time.  At that moment, my dear friend Sylvester said, “ Well C, you have gotten fat.”

SILENCE! SHOCK! HORROR!  Yep, all of that!  In that moment I was absolutely, highly offended, upset, wanted to cry, wanted to punch him in the face...and actually, kinda wanted to run out of there and not look back.  I think at first I was so hurt and offended for a couple of reasons. One- here was this guy, telling me that I had gained weight.  A GUY?!?!.  You know as well as I do that a guy commenting on a woman's weight is a bit taboo, to say the least.  However, I had to be realistic with myself and the circle of friends that I had curated. The friendships that I forge are raw and genuine in the fact that my friends and I are totally and completely open and honest with each other, male, or female alike, so I should not have been all that taken aback.  But then I got into my prim and proper mode and felt that my friend’s abhorrent behavior of commenting on my weight was no question inappropriate.  Secondly, I was completely ticked me the hell off because for TWO more reasons! 1.  He said it in front of everyone and 2. You JUST now decided to share this information with me?  I mean, you have had plenty opportunity to let me know that I had put on weight and maybe I should look into this. I mean...really!

I left there ready to demonize my friend.  So, I did what any self respecting young lady would do… I called all my girlfriends...including HIS girlfriend, now wife, and told them what an ass he had been to me.  I ripped him a new one with my girlfriends looking for solace.  Which I most certainly found.  I got a lot of “forget him’s,” “who does he think he is?,” “I’m sure if he did XYZ he would have gained some weight too,” oh, and my favorite, “forget him...your man likes it!” Now, I sit and think about those comments and laugh to myself.  I mean, on one hand, kudos to my loving and protective friends who did not want me to be down on myself.  But, on the other hand, shame on them. If anything, they should have done exactly what Sylvester had done, instead of trying to protect my feelings, they should have told me the truth.  That I had for sure gained an excessive amount of weight, and it did not look good, and it was not healthy, and the only reason that I was getting away with it was because I am tall and have a natural tendency to look lean.  So, after about two or three weeks of being totally pissed at Sylvester, that anger turned toward my girlfriends. I quickly figured out however, that this anger was completely misplaced as well, and it was not my girlfriends or Sylvester’s fault that I had tripled my dress size and I went from a size 4 jeans to teetering on a size 12.  There was only one person at fault for this and it was indeed me.

So, once I got over myself and realized that what was contributing to my weight gain was actually, no exercise, excessive sleep, Chick-Fil-A and Chipotle (ya know, the “healthy fast food”) and the fact that I ate my Chick-Fil-A and Chipotle and feel asleep on the couch watching shows on my DVR and then repeating that cycle again and again, sprinkled with drinking a glass of wine every night, because, “I deserved it” after a long day at work.  Yeah. It wasn’t Sylvester, or my friends that had gotten me in the situation I found myself in, it was my total dismissal and obliviousness to how I was treating my body and my health.

And when I say obliviousness that is exactly what I mean.  It wasn’t until that proclamation given by my friend while watching Sunday Night Football that I begin to really see what was going on.  After that night and the following weeks complaining about that night to my friends, I realized that I had rose colored glasses on and they had been on for sometime.

You see, somehow subconsciously categorized my closet with an entire side being dedicated to clothing that no longer fit.  It was soon after that I realized one morning at 6:45 after sweating, not from the treadmill but from struggling with the zipper of my Jill Stuart dress for 15 MINUTES….NO EXAGGERATION, 15 minutes of trying to zip this dress. I mean, it was everything that you have seen on a sitcom, squatting, sucking in, jumping up and down to use gravity, rolling on the bed in despair, looking out of my apartment door to see if there was a passerby who maybe could help me...I mean...it was a low point...well after this by some act of God, the damn zipper gave in and I was in the dress.  And I mean that.  I was in it and that was about it. I looked in the mirror and for the first time really saw what I had been doing to myself.  The dress looked awful.  It was obviously too small, I could barely move in it and the seams were stressed, you know, they were pulling, so they looked white instead of the color of the material. It was horrible. And to top it all off I was sweating trying to get the dress on so my hair that had been straightened was now partially curly and I felt like I needed to get back in the shower.  This, I will say was my low point.  It was then that I made a decision to get my shit together.  It was then I decided that something had to give and it wasn’t just going to be that zipper.  So, for that, I owe my friend Sylvester and tremendous thank you.  If it wasn’t for him truly being my friend, being real and telling me what I needed to hear, I probably would not have taken pause and checked myself.  I set forward to change the trajectory of not just my weight, but my health that day.

Now, the story doesn’t end here and I will definitely be sharing more of the journey to how I shredded those 30 pounds in three months! I am talking, naturally, no tricks, gimmicks, straight nutrition and movement! I will also be sharing with you how that journey to shedding the weight affected not only my clothing size but also, improved my sleep, relationship, attitude and surprisingly, my bank account!  Let me tell you, it is amazing how your life shifts when you address the thorn that has been holding you back.

Keeping checking back for details on my journey to better health and to get tips and tricks for yourself!  With the end of the year quickly approaching I know that this topic is on the forefront of your mind, because it is on mine!

Comment below and let me know what your focus for health (body, mind or soul) will be in the coming months!  Or fill me in on your jackass friend! I LOVE to hear from you!  And, if you are ready to take action now and want some help from someone who has been there and done that, and happens to now be certified to help you do just that click here to get inspiration to keep you going!